Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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