know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
