Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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