I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
