Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
