Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
