Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
