we have officially lost it.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
