it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm at about main and main street
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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