I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
