I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
