we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
