First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
