I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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