dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
