You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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