Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
