the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
