5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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