We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
