we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
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I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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