; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
