I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
