This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize