I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
