Kiss
Puke
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
