it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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