Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
