So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
