the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
