Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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