apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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