If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
