Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize