Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
