the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Randomize
