I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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