OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
