some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You can't motorboat a personality
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
