I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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