I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
