a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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