Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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