btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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