yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
