Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
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two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
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hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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