he puts the penis in happiness.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
