why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
