Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
