this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
