Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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