NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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