i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
