is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
