how can u be prego again
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
