Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
