Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
we made out on top of his cat.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
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I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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