I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
