I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
